Capricorn – Emotional – Heart: I AM HOME OF THE HEART

AM: define how you relate to others.

Me: my Virginian tone would tell you that I relate in a forced way. That I provide help in order to relate, and that I don’t ask for help. My Aquarian tone, more and more powerful, makes me break the pattern of being tolerant with all the groups to which I try to belong, and this little sociability makes me lose patience soon, and I don’t fit in any of them. A disaster

AM: and what would be the causes of this?

Me: first of all, an inherited pattern. Coming from Italian and Spanish families, where the family is everything, protection, containment, and the patriarch is responsible for this care, taking all the responsibility to him, with all the virtues and defects, do their part. Then, the pattern of each patriarch to be quite unsociable with the environment. I understand that the same thing that I experienced as a child was also like that for my ancestors. I have that vibration that they also suffered with their environment, and that everything had to be done from within, as they could and defending themselves from that environment. So outwardly the situation was one of prevention, and inwardly it was one of direction. Thus, I was always surrounded by family rather than from the outside, and under personal directives, rather than a balance of thoughts among all. Hence the lack of relating to others.

AM: a pattern to work, to break, to transcend.

Me: yes, I have this feeling that I must transcend it. But it is very difficult for me. I do not understand it. I put will, I put effort, I try to focus on meeting people, on knowing their lives, what they do, what they feel, and at a certain moment, if the relationship continues, it makes me feel suffocated, I start to question attitudes, certain acts bother me, I don’t know, I need space.

AM: how would you define a good relationship with others?

Me: The long-distance relationship makes me feel more fulfilled. That of being in contact from time to time, enjoying a moment, and then each one going on with his or her life, and then meeting again sometime later, and enjoying the moment again.

AM: for some people it would be something very banal and shallow.

Me: but what is profound and what is not in each path? Who defines it and why? What are the benefits of deepening a relationship and what are the cons, according to each person? Why should one option be better than the other?

AM: questions you know the answers to, but I will answer them anyway. Nothing is more or less deep. It is defined by each human being seeing himself. Each position has its benefits and its cons. No option is better than another. Therefore, each one must do what he/she feels best.

Me: I know that it is necessary to differentiate relationships with the intimate environment and the rest. In my intimate environment, I also need my space, my peace and quiet, because sometimes I get overwhelmed by the environment. And it is not because of the environment itself, but because of me. I feel the need to be enclosed in myself, and when I am already well with it, to have the batteries to continue relating to others.

AM: every being goes through that. You are not the only one. It’s just a way to find those times to be alone and enjoy the moment. Recharge batteries and continue.

Me: it’s like that. With my intimate environment, work has been important, and I’ve been able to evolve in my relationships. With the outside world, it’s a little more difficult. I feel that I don’t fit into any group. I don’t manage to integrate myself completely. There is always something that pulls me out. For personal issues, for outside issues, but again and again the same thing happens.

AM: because you are not working on some concept that makes it happen. The Universe brings you again and again what you have not been able to become aware of, experience, learn and evolve. It will be a matter of looking inside yourself, finding what is blocking you in your relationships with others, and finally, putting your will to modify your actions, and thus, achieve what you are looking for, to fit in every group where you want to share your experiences.

I invite everyone to watch Matías’ video with the theme of the day.

Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being

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