AM: if we are talking about fighting, you have always perceived yourself as a fighter.
Me: internally, I have seen myself that way. Although what I showed outwardly and reflected myself from the outside, is that I was made to see the opposite.
AM: the issue in those early years was that fighting was misguided. In the belief that to fight is to fight, to win and from that, to be the best, the leader, the most admired, the most loved, the concept was misunderstood.
Me: sure. Then it changed to the concept of fighting to show and find my own place. Using tools that allowed me to be where I felt I should be. This allowed me to modify this understanding of the meaning, and to contribute my part to make others understand that the place where I should be was the one, I chose, and not the one where others placed me. And it was an arduous struggle to be able to prove it.
AM: and there the understanding of this concept changed again. The struggle was not outward, but inward.
Me: without a doubt. Every action, every reaction, that I had to experience on my path led me to understand that the struggle was internal, not external. It was all within me, and I understood it, little by little, with every decision I made. From starting to read the Gita, where I identified myself fully with Arjuna, Krishna’s faithful friend. And how that dialogue led me to modify my own perception. Then, of course, the path of the I Am, where each of the 360 concepts worked in that first year, gave me the introduction to understand the particular concept of the day in the big picture, and where this second year, makes me perceive in consciousness each concept, and how I live them, how I act on it, and how are the consequences based on my actions. How I understand the positive or not of my actions, and how I can change so that these actions are modified.
AM: That is to say, the struggle is no longer towards others, but towards the power to battle against your own preconceptions, inconsistencies, and unconsciousness.
Me: like everything else, it is not easy. No one better than myself to know how to betray or dynamite paths that I should walk to reach my own evolution.
AM: and to stop fighting outwardly allows you to focus on your own struggle.
Me: no doubt. If I think about it, I sprouted my attempt to fight outward when I wrote my first posts on this blog.
AM: let’s get back to it
Me: I had set expectations that I could be an applied listener to all that Matias had presented, every day, every concept, for the entire year of the I Am path. I had found a way to follow the path, contributing my perspective, thinking of working my way and helping others that I considered were left on the path, as he continued on his own path, and I considered it unfair, to let go so quickly and quickly of those who were his followers, obviously contributing what he would have considered right, during that year, but perceiving that I could no longer bear to continue in the same place. He felt he was obliged to be there doing it, and he was suffocating quite assiduously, to be making every post, locked in and with the lineups. It didn’t match his shifting energy and he kept saying it. This led me to understand that the path ended there, and as he himself said very well, each one had to continue by his own means and ways.
AM: completely understandable
Me: I decided to follow my path by contributing my perspective in this blog, and I thought it was something exceptional. I thought that this contribution was even very good for the Foundation, and for all that he was forming, and that my contribution could help the project continue to grow.
AM: but nothing came out according to your expectations
Me: obviously the Foundation has its own path, it follows the directives of the person who founded it, and its own interests go in another direction. At the same time, there are many types of listeners and followers. Those who seek to develop their own being, and those who blindly follow. There are many of the latter, from those who love him blindly, to those who defend him almost in a radicalized way, towards any criticism, be it good or bad, towards any action of others that may overshadow the very light of their idol, and the same structure is so that the absolute centrality is that of himself. Because, by the way, it is his own energy that makes him unable to leave that place, which is where he feels comfortable and, I perceive, self-confident.
AM: and all this was the perfect combo to start the fight.
Me: although it was ephemeral. From not allowing me to present my daily posts in the Foundation’s networks, to receiving rejections and comments of wanting to hang on Matías’ fame, of trying to profit from this at his expense, of the Foundation remaining mute when I showed them all this, made me feel very disappointed and ultimately, consider that everything that he and his environment showed, was nothing more than a mirage, like any other association, with a lot of marketing, a lot of pretty talk, an approach that attracts the attention of someone loquacious, and a group of blind followers who only act by unconscious impulse, with many internal problems that they cannot solve living in unconsciousness, and looking for their Messiah who will tell them how, when and where to go to be able to find what they want and need.
AM: And why did you stop fighting?
Me: I think it was not to stop fighting. It was understanding that it didn’t mean fighting. I stopped following the conflict. I got out of my perspective. I kept doing what I felt was right for me. I started to fight with my own inner self: why continue doing something that resonated with me, but having been done by someone I felt disappointed in, because I felt that his actions after the end of the year, his inconsistencies in his networks, his actions that I did not understand, made me reject everything he was doing?
AM: you began to understand that the problem was not him but you, with your expectations, with your impulse to do something thinking that you were going to be thanked and that you would help someone who was doing a wonderful job for others.
Me: I began to understand that there was a lot I had to modify, that it was an opportunity to be able to do the second year of the path being aware of the work I had to do, to work on it seriously, to write each post putting my essence in the writing, and showing myself as I am, I think, and trying to find the balance, which is what makes me feel more fulfilled.
AM: and so, you began to walk your path of truth, in balance and awareness.
I invite everyone to watch Matías’ video with the theme of the day.
Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being
El Arbol de la Vida - Tercer Ciclo 