AM: connecting and separating. Interesting topic today.
Me: I have a hard time connecting. It has never been my forte.
AM: it is what you have come to learn to work on and understand, fundamentally.
Me: I find it hard work. First of all, because it has been difficult for me since I was a child to connect with the environment in which I chose to live. And from that starting point, the tools I have developed to subsist and walk my path, although they allowed me to make a connection with others, that same connection turned out to be an opportunity to achieve what I proposed, and not a real connection, as I call it.
AM: there are different types of connections, no doubt. And I understand you are referring to the purest connection that exists between human beings: love and unconditionality.
Me: precisely. It was not in my life actions, that pure connection, until I formed my own family nucleus. I received that from my family, my ancestors, and I continued the legacy of unconditional love towards my children, but I refer more to the general environment and the people around me. And I don’t find that feeling in me.
AM: but you have friends.
Me: yes, I do. And they are all very nice people. And I connect very well with them. But I feel like there is no unconditional connection with them. Nor with any other human being. I would love to find a way to experience that feeling beyond Adriana and my children, and my parents, but I don’t feel it flows smoothly.
AM: it’s not a matter of forcing anything. It must be done naturally. And you must, surely, break that wall that you have formed after having felt hurt and so attacked by that environment that, although you say you have understood that it was not as you perceived it, and you have even forgiven it, as well as embraced your inner child, there is still something there that does not let you transcend it yet.
Me: it is like this. I am a confident person, I feel very good with myself and my essence, I like what I do, and I seek to be coherent and balanced in my thinking, in my emotion and in my action, so I also have the security of being able to connect with another person without expectation, without expecting anything and therefore, being able to share that unconditional love towards another person.
AM: and for that you must separate.
Me: I must separate…
AM: you must separate what happened in those moments that made you close yourself to the aggressions you felt you were receiving, and what you are today and how you deal with your relationships with your environment. You definitely do not feel attacked today, and you can easily establish a connection with any human being that crosses your path. In the here and now, and without re-experiencing it the way you have in the past.
Me: I am a confident and balanced person. I understand that my first reaction is to protect myself and crouch down to avoid any threat to that inner child, but, by the same token, I no longer feel that external aggression, and I can make the connection. I just can’t have direct trust with any stranger. I need time to get to know the person, to be able to build a trusting relationship. And that sometimes takes me time.
AM: but it’s not wrong to build trust over time. It is impossible to get to know another person in a short period of time. Sometimes it takes you several lifetimes to get to know another person, not even in one lifetime. So, don’t rush to know everything about someone: it’s always good to get to know a new side of who you feel unconditional love for. Tell me something, do you know everything about Adriana?
Me: no. There is always a new side of her that surprises me.
AM: and tell me something else: do you know everything about yourself?
Me: definitely not. I always find something new in me.
AM: so, learn to connect by separating things, and you will have a long road of new connections on your life path.
I invite everyone to watch the video of Matias with the theme of the day
Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being
El Arbol de la Vida - Tercer Ciclo 