AM: how do you deal with excesses?
Me: quite limited for this concept.
AM: how limited?
Me: I feel I have had few excesses. Always internally trying to be in a center, unconsciously. I must say that, compared to beings who have acted with excess in their own lives, in my case, everything has been very measured.
AM: looking outwardly, you perceive it that way. But internally, and within that moderation, I also understand that you have felt that you have had excesses in your actions.
Me: Yes, of course I have. I think that all of us, without exception, think that we have some excesses at certain moments of our path.
AM: and what do you feel they have been?
Me: When I was a child, obviously food. At a certain point, around the age of ten, I started to put on weight, and although I wasn’t excessively fat, from the weight I had previously, it was too much. Looking back, I was just coming out of treatment for wheat allergy, for almost a whole year, and with the prohibition of being able to eat most of the staple foods in Argentina, when I got rid of it, I ended up going the other way.
AM: we already analyzed it, but this excess also had to do with replacing what your body had imposed on you with the allergy, an emotion that had to do with how rejected you felt from your environment, to compensate that rejection, once you recovered from it, with food.
Me: yes, I felt that way. It was the replacement of the tensions experienced outside. I remember a certain voracity for eating. When I was hungry, I would prepare myself something, and I did not stay with a small ingestion. I would go on and on and on. And before I knew it, a whole package of cookies was gone, or several slices of pizza, or whatever I was eating.
AM: And how were you able to control that excess?
Me: let’s say it took a few years. I wasn’t living in full awareness of my being, and I did what I could. But since I didn’t like to be called fat, little by little I understood that I didn’t want to be in that situation. And I was able to lose weight due to a fortuitous situation: at the age of fifteen I had chickenpox, which caused me to grow a few centimeters and lose all the extra kilos I had. That’s how I never again became overweight.
AM: I mean, you took advantage of a circumstance that you were not controlling to modify your actions.
Me: I took it as a gift to me. I couldn’t do it alone at the time, and it didn’t require any sacrifice on my part. And obviously, I took full advantage of it.
AM: And what other excesses do you feel you have had?
Me: At certain times in my life, I have been quite self-centered, thinking only of myself and nothing else. Even when I was in a couple and with my family. Not being able to focus or see the other’s perspective has been somewhat harmful to communication with the other, and this has led me to understand that I was being excessive in the closed thoughts I had. The same with certain actions of my own. At other times I feel I am being excessively judgmental towards others and harsh in my appraisals. It is that sometimes uncontrollable impulse with this type of thinking, and I know that if I act based on that impulse, the outcome is not the best.
AM: that is, you feel that every time you have overdone something, the result was not satisfactory to you.
Me: I have always paid attention to the consequences of my actions. And in that analysis that I have made, when I acted with excesses, from my point of view, of course, the result has not been good. That is why my purpose is to try not to have them. Even if sometimes it turns out to be a bit boring.
AM: social pressure, no doubt.
Me: something like that. Or also my ascendant in Aquarius. Sometimes it is present to want to experience some excess to wake up my body and my spirit in calm, haha.
AM: and do you, do it?
Me: no, I don’t. It is only in my fantasy. Then I come back to the reality of my path, and I realize that there is no point in fulfilling that fantasy.
AM: fantasies are not meant to fulfill them all. Although there is always something there that triggers the beginning of some experience that you must live.
Me: it is clear to me. And I know that acting with awareness and in balance of my being, I can carry it out.
AM: then, you are on the right path.
I invite everyone to watch the video of Matias with the theme of the day
Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being
El Arbol de la Vida - Tercer Ciclo 