Capricorn – Emotional – Kness: I AM HOME OF THE WALKERS

AM: Like every human being, you have gone through adversities throughout your life. Do you feel you have had to go through many of them?

Me: Let’s see. I feel that I have not gone through many adversities. I understand that there are different degrees of them, but if I focus on major adversities experienced, I will say that they have been few.

AM: and what happens when you are going through adversity?

Me: all kinds of emotions happen to me. Sadness, pain, crying, disconsolation, reflection, inner strength, resurgence, planning, reaction, understanding, understanding of the situation, getting out of that situation and complacency and even happiness once the adversity is overcome.

AM: a whole battery of emotions! And what have they been?

Me: we have already talked about them. As a child, without a doubt, my greatest adversity, and for a long time, was not fitting in my environment. Not feeling safe, loved or accepted outside my family. The continuous aggression towards myself, without understanding why, because I did not feel that I did anything wrong to anyone, because I had no evil, made me be in continuous imbalance with my body, with diseases, because it was the only way to eliminate all the negative energy that I absorbed from my environment. It was a slow process to get out, and let’s say, quite tortuous.

Secondly, the abuse situation was an adversity that also took a long time to resolve. At that time, I felt vulnerable and guilty. It threw me off balance, I cut it off as best I could at the time, buried it deep inside me, and assumed that everything was resolved, until I realized that the internal process had not even been thought about, talked about, analyzed, understood, forgiven, that it is part of my path, and that it will always be there, but healed so that I can continue on my way, the way I deserve to continue.

Thirdly, being out of work for a couple of years, which caused me a sense of failure to everything I had proposed, not to count on anyone but my family, not to understand again that greedy and nefarious environment, where there is nothing but power, appearance, spiritual baseness, and evil. It took me a long time to find my essence, because I was part of it all, and I fought against all of them in order to defeat them and reach the highest level of power. It was a hard defeat that helped me to reorient my path and bring out my essence again, on the path I had started a long time ago.

In the fourth place, knowing from a routine study that I had a polyp in my intestine of more than 5 centimeters in diameter, and that I had to have an urgent operation, because the doctor had to know if it was benign or malignant, made the whole life board move from one minute to the next. The process was so fast, that I did not even sit down to think about what was happening to me. In less than a month, they operated, removed more than 40 centimeters of intestine, analyzed the polyp, and it was encapsulated, which meant that there was no cancer, and therefore, everything was fine. In two days, I was out of the hospital and in 10 days I was driving to Punta del Este to spend a few days. It seemed that everything was fine, until a year later I understood everything that had happened, and I had a stage of continuous sadness and crying, which I could not stop. I didn’t feel depressed, but I had to get it off my chest.

Finally, my last great adversity was when we almost separated with Adriana. It coincided with the hatching caused by the experience of abuse, which provoked a series of situations that exploded in my face as it should be, because I had not been able to work the wound that had left me. We were going through a complicated situation, and having the possibility to stop living together, besides feeling destroyed as a being, to die part of me at that moment, to feel empty, with nothing, related all this with the need to heal myself internally. I was blessed by the containment and understanding of a being as special as Adriana, and with her help I was able to reconnect all my past, and to overcome all the adverse moments at once, and there I began to truly reconnect with my essence. I felt it fully, I realized that much of what I had done along the path had been important achievements, but I had also done a lot looking at the environment, and not at my essence. And it did not match what I stood for, it made me unbalanced, incoherent.

AM: and you began to feel that you had to be guided by your essence. And you began to feel fuller, calmer with yourself, you felt the emotion of living each step, you felt the balance of your being.

Me: I began to walk in a different way. I was grateful for every moment I lived, but my emotional path changed. It changed my body attitude. Changed my mind.

AM: came back to your essence.

I invite you all to watch Matías’ video with the theme of the day. 

Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being

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