AM: what is easier for you, to forgive or to ask for forgiveness?
Me: In the here and now, both situations are the same for me. I can ask for forgiveness if I understand that someone has felt bad about something I have done, and I can forgive if someone has made me feel bad about something they have done. It wasn’t like that in the old days.
AM: let’s talk about it a little bit
Me: aggressions from the outside have always made me feel bad, as a child, and who I felt as aggressors, I couldn’t forgive them. Obviously, they were bad people for me, and I couldn’t even communicate with them. So, they were looked down upon by me, and that I guess complicated things even more.
AM: your transparent look complicated the relationship even more.
Me: and at the same time, there was no way I could apologize for anything, because I was very engrossed in myself, with my things, and I always had a rationale or reason for doing things, and mentally I formed a whole picture of why I was right, and therefore, I disguised my actions and it was never bad and I never had to apologize.
AM: And how did that make you feel?
Me: Obviously, always having a reason to say that I had done things right and that I didn’t have to apologize made me feel that I was escaping from an uncomfortable situation for me, and in that way, I was victorious and without having to assume any responsibility. On the other hand, of those who I felt were hurting me, I had the expectation that they would come to ask for forgiveness, and obviously they did not, because they did not feel that they were hurting me, or they did not care that they were hurting me, and this was even more frustrating for me, and it generated an increase in my anger and hatred towards those people. It was a ball that was getting bigger every day.
AM: and at the same time, it generated a certain disappointment towards yourself and sometimes you even thought that all of them, the things they said to you and that hurt you, must be true, even if you didn’t feel it.
Me: sometimes I felt very helpless and there was a strong conflict between what was coming from inside me and what others felt they were placing on me.
AM: and today you know that I was your true reflection.
Me: but at that time, I didn’t even understand that I was a reflection, nor why they didn’t see what I felt internally. I felt vulnerable.
AM: because you could not separate your reflections from their reflections. Remember that every being is reflected in others, and they also act and receive that reflection from others, even from you.
Me: and perspectives are intermingled. In short, it was very difficult for me at that time to forgive those who I felt were hurting me.
AM: and how did this happen?
Me: As always, we ended our conversation for the day. Having walked the path of the I Am, recognizing each concept, working on it and understanding my actions, understanding the inherited patterns, working on them and bringing to the surface of consciousness each concept, the actions taken and the changes to be able to integrate and transcend.
AM: and this is how forgiving and asking for forgiveness became something simple and not difficult to do.
Me: every person I felt hurt by every action they have done that made me feel bad, I have forgiven them, I have freed myself from the anguish, the pain, the anger, the rage that could cause me. And in turn, to all of them I asked for forgiveness in thought, because also every negative thought towards them was an offense. And all this led me to deflate my attachment to each situation, and from another perspective, I began to realize how closed I was in my thoughts, and that perhaps those people had not been as harsh and cruel as I had felt. I also asked forgiveness to my inner child, that wonderful being that had suffered and that with my protection and under my responsibility, I was not going to go through it again, and I felt that I had been forgiven, and everything, from then on, became simpler.
AM: you got forgiveness from yourself, and with it, the beginning of another stage in this path of life.
I invite everyone to watch Matías’ video with the theme of the day.
Finally, I encourage everyone to engage in conversation with their own I Am, to listen to what we each have to say to each other. No one else but us can re-signify our own being